I Use to Know Everything....Then I Grew Up Unfortunately.

My parents were very fortunate people, after dealing with my 4 siblings they were blessed with me.  This was quite the lucky break since I was hands down the most brilliant child that ever walked the planet.

Seriously, I knew EVERYTHING.  There was not a thing they could tell me that I didn't already know or that I didn't have an argument for.  

That's probably why they decided not to procreate after me, talk about hitting the offspring jackpot!

It wasn't something I quickly grew out of either, once I changed from a stubborn, opinionated child to an all knowing teenager I think I actually got even wiser.  By the time I hit 15 my parents and I argued constantly because they couldn't accept the simple fact that there wasn't a topic under the sun that I didn't already have covered.

That was the main reason why I decided, at 17, it was time to move on.  I was already in college at the time so high school was no longer an issue.  I figured why bother with college at this point anyway?  So I dropped out and hit the road to go show the world what a badass I was.

I was not a grown up at that point.  I was still the same old know it all child, just a little taller, with a little more attitude and slightly bigger boobs.

The most unexpected part of being a grown up is realizing how little you actually know about basically anything.

Every day my inflated ego is taken down a notch or two when I see how much I still have to learn.

For example, here are some of the things I found out (the hard way of course) my younger, not so brilliant, self was wrong about.

1) Cars do not fix themselves, filling the oil is not a cure all, and if you take it to get inspected they WILL notice you put black masking tape over the check engine light.

2) Cussing someone out and putting them in their place will not get you what you want, odds are it's just going to piss them off.  And get you fired.

3) Speaking of getting fired, it doesn't matter if your supervisor was wrong.  Walking out in the middle of a busy shift in a glorious display of pride and anger will make for a great story later in life.  It will not, however, pay your rent that month or spice up your resume.  

4) Ramen is not the greatest find since diet pepsi, it will lose it's sparkle after, roughly, 7 weeks.

5) Cheaper does not equate better.  Especially when it comes to bleaching your hair.  A lesson I had to learn 5 times before it sank in. 

6) Just because the guy is nice and "seems legit" does not mean you should let him pierce your tongue in your apartment.  You will regret it.  And will forever thank the Lord you survived that one.

7) Mimosas with Sunny D and $5 champagne...NO.  Just no.

8) Talking about how drunk you were last night doesn't make you sound awesome or special.  Unless you're a mom of two and the story ends with 2 glasses of wine and passing out by 9:30.  Now that's a good story.

9) Buying super cute yoga pants that almost make you look like you have an ass, taking up yoga, throwing around the word "zen," and flushing out your system with this "super cool raw foods book I found" will not make life without coffee worth living or turn you into a sunny, positive person.   Stop being ridiculous.

10)  Drunk you was never a better dancer, wittier joke teller, better singer, more skilled beer pong player, sexier, or suddenly skilled in the art of hair cutting.

Just kidding about that last one, give me a couple beers and I will bust a move.  Granted it will be moves I learned from my square dancing days in high school (don't ask), but hot damn I'd make The Crawdad Man proud. 

This was inspired by the sentence "The most unexpected part of being a grown up is...", thought up by Left Brain Buddha for Finish the Sentence Friday.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 28, 2014 and is filed under ,,. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

8 Responses to “I Use to Know Everything....Then I Grew Up Unfortunately.”

  1. OMG, I died when I read about the Sunny D Mimosas! Sounds like my friends and I, thinking we were fancy, drinking our Boone's Farm!

    1. Boone's Farm! I have thought about that deliciousness in years! Yum.

  2. PHEW!! I was going to say PLEASE tell me it was your OWN hair you cut drunk and not someone else's, then I saw the just kidding. :) [#FTSF]

  3. HA! This is hilarious!! So funny. While I've never bleached my hair myself, I can't tell you how many times I've had to learn the lesson of "do not cut your own bangs. ever." Been at least 12 dozen, I'd say. Love the angry walking out on a job one - I did that, too, and then had to borrow money from my dad for rent. Ugh. Thanks so much for linking up with us!!!

    1. Oh I still make that mistake! I weigh my options of getting the motivation to go to the hairdresser's...or youtube it...
      Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Ok I am going to need more details on #6. FOR REAL!? I pierced my own ears at home (I wanted 2nd holes and my parents were adamantly opposed so I got some Zima, a bff, and did it myself). But it made me squeamish and still makes me curl my toes - although that might be because of the Zima.

    1. He was a licensed piercer who was the brother of a girl I met at my job. It didn't register with me as to WHY no one had hired him yet. I figured it out. Did I mention I was terribly stupid?

      Zima? That's awesome! I don't see how you could go wrong;)